Lines of the day

• Recorded message: "This message will now be repeated . . . " followed by silence
• Dollar Tree flyer: "All luau supplies $1.25!"
• CDC: "CDC is not a clinic or hospital. CDC is a public health institution that is a part of the federal government. CDC cannot refer patients to specific health care providers or treat or prescribe medication." The things people expect you to be able to do just because you're called the Center for Disease Control!